How to Cope with Your Own Grief

Be with caring people. Spend time with family, friends, neighbours, co-workers, and people, such as members of a self-help group, who have been through the experience of loss and grief.

*1. Take enough time. Everyone reacts differently to a loss. It is hard to estimate a "normal" grieving period; it will probably take longer than you expect.

*2. Express your feelings. Let yourself feel sadness, anger and other feelings. Find a way to express these feelings through talking, weeping, etc .

*3. Accept a changed life. Recognize that you may be less attentive to your work and personal relationships for some time. Your routines may need to change - this is a natural outcome of loss and grief.

*4. Reach out for help. Don't always rely on others to make the first move; they may be concerned about allowing you your privacy. Let people know when you need companionship and support.

*5. Take care of your physical health. Be aware of any physical signs of stress or illness you may develop. Speak with your doctor if you feel your grief is affecting your health.

*6. Support others in their grief. Offer support to other family members and friends who are grieving, including the children. Be honest with the children about what has happened and about how you feel. Encourage them to talk about their feelings.

*7. Come to terms with your loss. Move towards acceptance of the death of your loved one. Work through feelings of bitterness and blame which may get in the way of moving forward in your life.

*8. Make a new beginning. As the sense of grief becomes less intense, return to interests and activities you may have dropped and think about doing something new. Consider forming new relationships at your own pace.

*9. Postpone major life changes. Consider waiting a year or so before making big decisions, such as moving, remarrying or having another child. Your judgement may not be the best while you are mourning, and the changes may add to the stress you are already experiencing.

 

Do You Need More Help?

If you are bereaved and feel you need more assistance than friends and family can provide, contact a community organization, such as the Canadian Mental Health Association, which can help you find additional support.